Festival Of Farts
Kevin Bloody WilsonVersion1
90
Chords in this song
Strum
D-DU-UDU
I come from an outback town where fuckin nothin grows
No wheat no sheep so we cant even host an annual show
But we got somethin special there that sets our town apart
Coz each year in a shed we hold the festival of farts
)
Theres displays and competitions And entries from afar
And those that cant get into town just send in little jars
And old fat sarge the local cop with clipboard and a pen
Unscrews the lid and takes a whiff then scores em 1 to 10
He'll give you 2 points for Aroma
2 for the bouquet
2 for fermentation
And 2 more for decay
And two for presentation of the fancy little jars
And a medal for the best fart at the festival of farts
And you should see the mob this year That cramed into the shed
Hear the big guns blazing In the farting talent QUest
With old sarge on a megaphone as he reads the riot act
'' Now settle down you bastards, can you hear me at the back
Now we'll give em all a go alright, and butt them cigarettes
And any of you cunts play up tonight, i'll bust ur fuckin head''
And he unfolds his directors chair And squats on his fat arse
To adjudicate the entries in the festival of farts
He'll give you 2 points for Aroma
2 for the bouquet
2 for fermentation
And 2 more for decay
And two for presentation, style and grace and class
And a medal for the best fart at the festival of farts
Then the crowd roars its approval As the first bloke lets one go
Fuckin thunder from down under To open up the show
Then a double burblin gurgler With a chilli afterburn
Then a downdraft knacker clanger Shit that must have fuckin hurt
And the silence single singer That took us by surprise
And a notchous nostril burner That brung tears to our eyes
And old sarge the cranky bastard Sat there adding up the marks
As popular as embroids at the festival of farts
coz he'll get 2 points for Aroma
2 for the bouquet
2 for fermentation
And 2 more for decay
And two for presentation, style and grace and class
And a medal for the best fart at the festival of farts
But the highlight of the show this year Was two kids with a goat
That they'd fed on rocks and rotten eggs And dragged in on a rope
And as one young fella grabbed his horns to line old billy up
His mate just warned the ground the goats arse and feck kicked him in the
guts
( (
And that old goat fired a fuckin beauty Like a shotgun goin off
And fired a lethal load of gravel shrapnel Scared shit out of the mob
And as they all dived for cover and hit the deck in fear
Old sarge just kept on markin buck shot whizzin past his ears
He'd give em 2 points for Aroma
2 for the bouquet
2 for fermentation
And 2 more for decay
And all in all that bloated goat had probably scored a ten
Except his fartin shit and shot old fuckin sarge arse over head
Then with all of the confusion And no cunt keepin score
And old sarge fuckin screamin They just pissed off out the door
And even when the dust had settled No-one seemed to care
that they'd fucked off with the medal Coz they'd won it fair and square
That goat got 2 points for Aroma
2 for the bouquet
2 for fermentation
And 2 more for decay
And three big cheers from all of us For pay back on old sarge
and a medal for the best fart at the festival of farts
That goat got 2 points for Aroma
2 for the bouquet
2 for fermentation
And 2 more for decay
And three big cheers from all of us For wingin poor old sarge
and a medal for the best fart at the festival of farts
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Readable chord sheet for Festival Of Farts by Kevin Bloody Wilson
I[C] come from an outback town where f[F]uckin nothin g[C]rows
No w[F]heat no sheep so[C] we cant even [G]host an annual [G]show
But w[C]e got somethin special there that s[F]ets our town [C]apart
C[F]oz each year in a [C]shed we hold the [G]festival of f[C]arts
[[C]) [F] [C]
Theres displays and competitions And entries from afar
And thos[F]e that cant get [C]into town just[G] send in little[G] jars
And o[C]ld fat sarge the local cop with cli[F]pboard and a [C]pen
Unscrew[F]s the lid and take[C]s a whiff then sc[G]ores em 1 to [C]10
He'll give you 2[C] points for Aroma
2[F] for the bouqu[C]et
2[F] for ferment[C]ation
And 2[G] more for decay
A[C]nd two for presentation of the fan[F]cy little jars[C]
And a m[F]edal for the be[C]st fart at the fe[G]stival of f[C]arts
A[C]nd you should see the mob this year That cr[F]amed into the [C]shed
Hea[F]r the big guns b[C]lazing In the f[G]arting talent Q[G]Uest
W[C]ith old sarge on a megaphone as he r[F]eads the riot [C]act
'' Now set[F]tle down you ba[C]stards, can you h[G]ear me at the [C]back
N[C]ow we'll give em all a go alright, and [F]butt them ciga[C]rettes
And a[F]ny of you cunts p[C]lay up tonight, i'll b[G]ust ur fuckin h[G]ead''
And [C]he unfolds his directors chair And squa[F]ts on his fat [C]arse
To ad[F]judicate the en[C]tries in the f[G]estival of f[C]arts
He'll give you 2[C] points for Aroma
2[F] for the bouqu[C]et
2[F] for ferment[C]ation
And 2[G] more for decay
And t[C]wo for presentation, st[F]yle and grace and c[C]lass
And a [F]medal for the b[C]est fart at the f[G]estival of f[C]arts
Then [C]the crowd roars its approval As the f[F]irst bloke lets one[C] go
Fuckin thu[F]nder from down un[C]der To o[G]pen up the sho[G]w
Then [C]a double burblin gurgler With a c[F]hilli afterb[C]urn
Then a[F] downdraft knacker cl[C]anger Shit that m[G]ust have fuckin h[C]urt
And the si[C]lence single singer That to[F]ok us by sur[C]prise
And a no[F]tchous nostril bu[C]rner That bru[G]ng tears to our e[G]yes
And o[C]ld sarge the cranky bastard Sat there add[F]ing up the m[C]arks
As pop[F]ular as e[C]mbroids at the fe[G]stival of f[C]arts
coz he'll get 2[C] points for Aroma
2[F] for the bouqu[C]et
2[F] for ferment[C]ation
And 2[G] more for decay
And t[C]wo for presentation, st[F]yle and grace and c[C]lass
And a me[F]dal for the be[C]st fart at the fe[G]stival of f[C]arts
But the hi[C]ghlight of the show this year Was two[F] kids with a goa[C]t
That they'd f[F]ed on rocks and r[C]otten eggs And d[G]ragged in on a ro[G]pe
And as one[C] young fella grabbed his horns to li[F]ne old billy u[C]p
His mate[F] just warned the ground the goa[C]ts arse and feck [G]kicked him in the
g[C]uts
([C] ([F] [C]
And that old goat fired a fuckin beauty Like a shotgun goin off
And fired a [F]lethal load of gr[C]avel shrapnel Scared s[G]hit out of the mo[G]b
And as the[C]y all dived for cover and hi[F]t the deck in fe[C]ar
Old sarg[F]e just kept on m[C]arkin buck shot w[G]hizzin past his e[C]ars
He'd give em 2[C] points for Aroma
2[F] for the bouqu[C]et
2[F] for ferment[C]ation
And 2[G] more for decay
And all in[C] all that bloated goat had p[F]robably scored a[C] ten
Except his fa[F]rtin shit and sho[C]t old fuckin sa[G]rge arse over hea[G]d
Then with [C]all of the confusion And no [F]cunt keepin scor[C]e
And o[F]ld sarge fuckin s[C]creamin They just p[G]issed off out the[G] door
And even wh[C]en the dust had settled N[F]o-one seemed to [C]care
that they'd f[F]ucked off with the m[C]edal Coz they'd w[G]on it fair and sq[C]uare
That goat got [C]2 points for Aroma
2[F] for the bouqu[C]et
2[F] for ferment[C]ation
And 2[G] more for decay
And t[C]hree big cheers from all of us For p[F]ay back on old s[C]arge
and a [F]medal for the [C]best fart at the [G]festival of f[C]arts
That goat got [C]2 points for Aroma
2[F] for the bouqu[C]et
2[F] for ferment[C]ation
And 2[G] more for decay
And t[C]hree big cheers from all of us For w[F]ingin poor old s[C]arge
and a m[F]edal for the b[C]est fart at the f[G]estival of fa[C]rts