Stop Forwarding That Crap To Me

[G]Oh the sand keeps falling through the hourglass
And there's no [D]way you're gonna slow it [Em]down
You say we [C]gotta treasure each [G]moment
Who knows how [D]long we're gonna be a[B]round

Yeah you [C]keep on telling me [G]life is short
And it's [B]hard to disagree with what you [C]say
But if [G]time is so precious, why ya [D]wasting mine
Cause I'm [C]always reading, Always deleting
[C]Every useless piece of garbage that you [D]send my way

Every [G]stupid hoax
All those [D]corny jokes
Stop f[C]orwarding that crap to [D]me
Well I d[G]on't need tons of cringe in[D]ducing puns
Stop f[C]orwarding that crap to [D]me

No it [Em]isn't ok if you [Bm]brighten my day
With some [C]cut and pasted hackneyed Hallmark [D]poetry
And I d[G]idn't request a perso[D]nality test
Stop f[C]orwarding [D]- that crap to me

[G]Ahhh[D]hhhh[C]hhhh[D]hh...

[D]You're sending [G]virus-laden bandwidth-hogging attachments
to [D]every single person you [Em]know
You're [C]passing round a link to [G]some dumb thing on YouTube
That [D]everybody else already [B]saw three years ago
And [C]wacky badly P[G]hotoshopped billboards
were [B]never that amusing to [C]me
And I [G]just can't believe you be[D]lieve those urban legends
But I [C]have high hopes someone will point you toward Snopes
[C]And debunk that crazy junk you're spewing [D]constantly

No I [G]don't want a bowl of Chicken [D]Soup for the Soul
Stop f[C]orwarding that crap to [D]me
Send more [G]top 10 lists and I'll [D]slash my wrists
Please stop f[C]orwarding that crap to [D]me
Well I'm [Em]sorry I can't accept your [Bm]paranoid rant
And I don't [C]want the Neiman Marcus cookie [D]recipe
Won't you [G]kindly refrain, cause it's [D]hurting my brain
Stop [C]forwarding... that crap to me

[Am]Like glittery hearts and unicorns and [D]pictures of somebody's cat
Now tell me[Am] in what alternate reality would I [D]care about something like that?

And by the way your [Em]quotes from George Carlin aren't really George Carlin
Mr. [Bm]Rogers never fought the Viet Cong
And Bill [C]Gates is never gonna give me something for nothing
And I [A]highly doubt some dead girl is gonna kill me
[A]If I don't pass your letter along...

[A]Well now I [G]know you're wishing
I'll [D]sign your petition
But stop f[C]orwarding that crap to [D]me
And I don't want to [G]read your series
Of con[D]spiracy theories
Just stop f[C]orwarding that crap to [D]me
And your [Em]two million loser friends
All [Bm]have my address now
Cause you [C]never figured out the way to [D]BCC

Now I g[G]otta insist
Take me[Em] off of your list
Stop f[C]orwarding-[D]- that crap to me[G]

[G]Stop forwarding that crap to me [G]     [G]       [F#]
[Em]Stop forwarding that crap to me [Em]      [Em]         [D]
[C]Stop forwarding that [D]crap to me
(repeats)

[C]Ahhh[D]hhhh[G]....