Jerry Springer

{capo: 2}
{tuning: Standard (EADGBE)}
{section: Chorus}
It's been [G]one week since we [Cadd9]got to see
Cheatin' l[G]overs and c[Cadd9]ousins that marry
[G] Five days since they [Cadd9]had the show
With the h[G]ermaphrodite, the [Cadd9]slut, and the crack ho
[G] Three days since we [Cadd9]heard the tale
Ab[G]out the guy who learned his [Cadd9]woman was a she-male
[G]Yesterday it occ[Cadd9]urred to me
That I've been w[G]atchin' a bit too [Cadd9]much Jerry Springer

{section: Verse 1}
[G]Holy cow, d'you see it [Cadd9]last week?
Well, they had this o[G]ne freak
Who sucker-[Cadd9]punched his whole family
[G] Do you recall when the br[Cadd9]awl
Became a total free-for[G]-all
And Jerry's in the middle [Cadd9]tryin' to be the referee
[G]Hey, see the stripper with the [Cadd9]implants
She likes to [G]lap dance
And date the [Cadd9]boyfriend of her mother
[G] Now here come's Jerry's [Cadd9]next guest
And it's a sl[G]ugfest
'Cause it's her tr[Cadd9]ailer trash brother
[G] Nymphomaniac is back on [Cadd9]crack
It's like "When Animals At[G]tack"
They all exhibit repreh[Cadd9]ensible behavior
[G] Hit 'em in the nose, tear off their cl[Cadd9]othes
Step on their toes, that's how it [G]goes
They get so violent they h[Cadd9]ave to sign a waiver

{section: Bridge 1}
[Em7]They're always swearin', cursin', k[Dadd9]ickin' butt, and pointin' blame
[Bm4]On the air? They don't [Cadd9]care, they've got no shame
[Em7]There was one guy who I'm s[Dadd9]ure felt a little strange
[Bm4]When he found out that his [Cadd9]wife had a sex change
[Em7]They have a tendency to s[Dadd9]cream and yell constantly
[Bm4]They have a history of r[Cadd9]ipping off their shirts

{section: Chorus}
It's been one week since they had the fight
With the Siamese twins and the transvestite
Five days since that awful brawl
They still haven't got the blood off the wall
It's been three days since the bitter fued
Between the KKK and that gay Jewish black dude
Yesterday, finally dawned on me
I'm spendin' way too much time on that Jerry Springer

{section: Interlude}
[G][Gu[Cadd9]y] Baby, I've been sleepin' with your sister
[Gal] Oh? Well, which one?
[Guy] All of them
[Gal Oh! Well, I've been sleepin' with your best friend Jake!
[Guy] Yah? Well, well me too!
[Gal] Oh!
[Guy] And I've sleepin' with your dog Woofie!
(barking)
[Gal] Woofie, you b-tch!
[Gal] Well, I'm also sleepin' with your pet goat!
(baaahhing)
[Guy] That goat doesn't love to you!

{section: Verse 2}
Once you start watchin', there's just no stoppin'
Your brain shuts down, then your IQ's droppin'
Jerry's the king of confrontation
He's a sensation
He puts the 'sin' in syndication
It's totally worthless, like a bad check
It's like a train wreck
Don't wanna stare but you can't look away
Like Sally Jesse he does talk shows
But with more weirdos
The ratings jumpin' higher everyday
If you've seen the show, well then you know
It's just as low as you can go
The guests are tacky and they're lacking in their hygiene
And pretty soon some ugly goon
Comes in the room and then it's BOOM
In the face of some unsuspecting drag queen

{section: Bridge 2}
Well it's the kind of show where people scream obscenities
Yankin' hair, throwin' chairs at their hubbies
"Jerry! Jerry!" Now the crowd starts their favorite chant
Should I turn off my TV? I just can't
I have a tendency to watch it religiously
I have a history of taping each one

{section: Chorus}
It's been one week since the show about
Psycho killers with problems they should work out
Five days since the big surprise
When some loser's wife said she's shtill dating twenty guys
Three days wince he interviewed
A bunch of psychic porn star midgets who were all nude
Yesterday, it occurred to me
That I've been watchin' a bit too much Jerry Springer
Tired of wastin' my time on that Jerry Springer
I've got way too much class to watch Jerry Springer
Come over here and pull on my finger

[End on [G]]