Birthday Song

[D]

[D]It's your birthday today,

What does that mean? I guess I'll try to explain,
That twenty-one ye[G]ars ago on this day,
It was the f[A]irst time your parents saw your beautiful [D]face,

And nine months before that magical day,

Your dad probably took your mom out on a date,
And they were [G]having a good time,
They were dancing and drinking [D]wine,

[D]And when they got home they were horny as hell,

And your dad threw your mom down on the bed,
And he [G]tore her panties off,
And his penis was [D]hard as a rock,

And then your mom really wanted to give your dad head,

But your dad also wanted to give your mom head,
So they [G]formed a sixty-nine,
And your mom came at [D]least three times,

[D]And then your dad was so excited to get inside your mom,

That he forgot to put a condom on,
And when he [G]realized his mistake,
[A]He had ejaculated and it was too [D]late,

And then your[G] mom got[A] pregnant,
And your [Bm]dad started c[D]rying,
He wanted your [G]mom to get an [A]abortion,
But your [Bm]mom wanted a c[D]hild,
[G]And nine months later y[D]ou were born,
And [G]five months later yo[A]ur parents got a d[D]ivorce.