The Good Book

[Bb]Life is like an ocean voyage and our [F]bodies are the ships

[C]And without a moral compass we would [A]all be cast a[Dm]drift [Dm/C]

So to [Bb]keep us on our bearings, the [F]Lord gave us a gift

[C7]And like most gifts you get, it was a [C]book

I [F]only read one book, but it's a [Bb]good book, don't you know

I [C7]act the way I act because the Good Book tells me s[F]o

If I [F]wanna known how [F7]to [Eb]be good, it's [Bb/D]to the Good Book [Bbm]that[D] I go

'Cos the [C7]Good Book is a book and it is [F]good and it's a book

I know the Good Book's good because the Good Book says it's good

I know the Good Book knows it's good because a really good book would

You wouldn't cook without a cookbook and I think it's understood

You can't be good without a Good Book 'cos it's good and it's a book

And it is good for cookin'

[Dm]I tried to read some other books, but I [A]soon gave up on that

The [Bb]paragraphs ain't numbered and they [F]complicate the [C]facts

I [A]can't read Harry Potter 'cos they're [D]worshipping false gods and that

And [G]Dumbledore's a poofter and that's [C]bad, 'cos it's not good

Morality is written there in simple white and black

I feel sorry for you heathens, got to think about all that

Good is good and evil's bad and goats are good and pigs are crap

You'll find which one is which in the Good Book, 'cos it's good

And it's a book, and it's a book

I had a cat, she gave birth to a litter

The kittens were adorable and they made my family laugh

But as they grew they started misbehavin'

So I drowned the little fuckers in the bath

When the creatures in your care start being menaces

The [G]answers can be found right there in [C]Genesis!

Chapter [D]6, Verse 5-7!

[G]Swing your partner by the hand

[C]Have a baby if you can

[D]But if the voices your head

Say to sacrifice your kid

[G]To satiate your loving God's

[C]Fetish for dead baby blood

[D]It's simple faith, the Book demands

So raise that knife up in your hand!

Be[F]fore the Good Book made us good, there was [Bb]no good way to know

If a [C]thing was good or not that good or kind of touch and [F]go

So God decided he'd give writing allegoric prose a go

And so he wrote a book and it was generally well-received

The [Bb]Telegraph said, "This God is remi[F]niscent of the [C]Norse."

The [Bb]Times said, "Kind of turgid, but I [F]liked the bit with [C]horses."

The [A]Mail said, "Lots of massacres, a [Dm]violent tour de force.

If you [G]only read one book this year, then [C]this one is a book

And it is [D]good, and it's a book!"

Swing your daughter by the hand

But if she gets raped by a man

And refuses then to marry him

Stone her to death!

If [Em]you just close your eyes and block your [B]ears

To the ac[C]cumulated knowledge of the [G]last two thousand [D]years

Then [B]morally, guess what? You're off the [Em]hook

And thank [A]Christ you only have to read one [D]book

[Dm]Just because the book's contents

Were [A]written generations hence

[Dm]By hairy desert-dwelling gents

[A]Squatting in their dusty tents

[Em]Just because what Heaven said

[B]Was said before they'd leavened bread

[Em]Just 'cos Jesus couldn't read

[B]Doesn't mean that we should need

[C]When manipulating human genes

[G]To alleviate pain and fight disease

[C]When deciding whether it's wrong or right

[G]To help the dyin' let go of life

[D]Or stop a pregnancy when it's

Just a tiny blastocyst

[B]There's no reason why we should take a [Em]look

[D]At any other [C]book

[G/B]But the Good Book

[A]'Cause it's good

And it's a book

[D]And it's a book

And it's quite good!

[G]Good is good and [G7]evi[F]l's bad

[C/E]And kids get killed when [Cm]God[E] gets mad

[D]And you'd better take a good look

At the [G]Good Book    [D]      [G]