so i went to the store and i was all like, hey you give me a new car. the guy behind dar counter was like whaaaaaat? so i told him i was all like but i got one of them free coupons. he decided i was a retard and that he needed to ignore me. so i showed him the coupon. turns out you ccannot count a stolen credit card as a coupon. apparently you can get arrested for that. apparently the U.S. government wont let me chang my name to squidward.

[E]Well my old john deer finally broke down
[B]Used it every day drove it into the ground
So I [F#m]went to get a new one way up town
And [A]I was out of luck, cause [B]they were all out
So I [E]found a used tractor on craigs list
[B]There was no picture but I couldnt resist
It seemed [F#m]like a good deal but now I regret it
If you [A]wanna know why go [B]take a look at it

[E]I got stuck with a pretty pink tractor
[B]Go take a peek its out in the pasture
[F#m]people make fun but it don't matter
[A]drives real loud so you [B]can't hear the laughter
[E]plays a sweet song when you turn on the corner
[B]flowery canopy when it gets warmer
[F#m]When I think about it I just get madder
[A]I got stuck with a pretty pink tractor

[E]Just when I thought it couldn't get no worse
My [B]daddy came by Sunday after church
He said [F#m]son don't you listen to them big mouth jerks
If [A]people make fun [B]hit em with your purse and

[E]Take em for a ride on your pretty pink tractor
[B]Can I get a picture
I wanna show my pastor I'm [F#m]sure all the family would wanna take a gander
[A]So im gonna show em your [B]pretty pink tractor

(after the chorus there is a guitar who plays)

E-5-5-5-5-3s-5-E
B-5-5-5-5-3s-5-B
G--------------G
D--------------D
A--------------A
E--------------E
[E]Tally tubby cover [B]on the seat
[F#m]Like a red-neck [A]sesame street
[B]oh yeah!

Gotta watch out when you buy on line
don't turn out good all the time
why yall gotta make fun that way
it plows it up eight bells of hay
give me a minute while i put this dip in
hit with a purse and you be trippin
snap shot cheap shot take a look
post it all up on yo facebook
every body hatin on my new ride
cows and chicken dog and pig
jump on my tractor let it flow
gotchya trippin on a double rainbow
I fire it up I hear yall laughin
makin it rain I'm a red-neck rapping
pepto bismal fashion pink
I know yall really wanna be me!

[E]Plays a sweet song when you turn on the corner
[B]Barbie would drive it, if she was a farmer
[F#m]When I think about it

I just get madder
[A]I got stuck with a [B]pretty pink tracter

who yeah yeah
[E]I need to go to town    [B]
And trade it in for a [F#m]green or brown  [A]
Who wants my [B]pretty pink tractor