There's a Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Thought of It Yet

[Em]Please leave all overcoats, canes, and top hats with the doorman
And [C]from that moment, you'll be out of place and under dressed
I'm [Am]wrecking this evening already and [B]loving every minute of it
[C]Ruining this banquet for the m[B7]ildly inspiring and

[Em]Please leave all overcoats, canes, and [D]top hats with the doorman
And f[G]rom that moment, you'll be out of [C]place and under dressed
I'm [Am]wrecking this evening already and [B]loving every minute of it
[C]Ruining this banquet for the m[D]ildly inspiring [B7]and

[Em]When you're in black slacks with accentuating off-white

xx5557 xx5555 xx5557 xx5555
pinstripes      whoa-oh

[C]Everything [B]goes ac[B]cor[Am]ding t[G]o p[Em]lan

[C]I'm the new cancer, [B7]never looked better
And [Em]you can't s[D]tand it
I know because you [G]say so under your breath
You're reading l[B7]ips, "When did he get at all confident?"
[C]Haven't you [B7]heard that I[Em]'m the new [D]cancer?
[G]Never looked better
And [B7]you can't stand it

[B] [B] [C] [C] [B] [B] [C] [C] [C] [C] [B] [Am] [G]

[Em]Next is a trip to the ladies room in vain
[C]I bet you just can't keep up with these fashionistas
[Am]Tonight, tonight, you are, you are the whispering campaign
[B]To them, your name is "Cheap",[B7] I bet to them you look like shhh
[Em]Talk to the mirror, [D]choke back tears
And keep [G]telling yourself that, "[C]I'm a diva.[C]" [B]   [Am]

[Am]Oh, and the smokes in that [B]cigarette box at your tab[C]le
They just so [D]happen [B]to be [C]laced [B]with [C]nit[C]rog[C]ly[Am]ceri[B]n

[C]I'm the new cancer, [B7]never looked better
And [Em]you can't s[D]tand it
I know because you [G]say so under your breath
You're reading l[B7]ips, "When did he get at all confident?"
[C]Haven't you [B7]heard that I[Em]'m the new [D]cancer?
[G]Never looked better
And [B7]you can't stand it B B

[Em] [D] [G] [C]   [C] [B] [Em] x2

[Em]Haven't you [D]heard that [G]I'm the new [C]cancer?
I've [C]never looked [B]better and [Em]you can't stand it
[Em]Haven't you [D]heard that [G]I'm the new [C]cancer?
I've [C]never looked [B]better and [Em]you can't stand it

And I [Em]know, and I know
It just [D]doesn't feel like a night [G]out with no one sizing you [C]up
I've never [C]been so surrep[B]titious
So of course you'll be dis[Em]tracted when I spike the punch
And I [Em]know, and I know
It just [D]doesn't feel like a night [G]out with no one sizing you [C]up
I've never [C]been so surrep[B]titious
So of course you'll be dis[Em]tracted when I spike the punch

And I [Em]know, and I know
It just [D]doesn't feel like a night [G]out with no one sizing you [C]up
I've never [C]been so surrep[B]titious
So of course you'll be dis[Em]tracted when I spike t[D]he [Em]punch