Titties And Beer
Frank ZappaVersion1
90
Chords in this song
Strum
D-DU-UDU
It was the blackest night!
There was no moon in sight!
(you know the stars ain't shinin'
'cause the sky's too tight)
I heard the scary wind!
I seen some ugly trees!
There was a werewolf honkin',
'long the side of me!
I'm mean 'n I'm bad, (y'know I ain't no sissy)
Got a big-titty girly by the name of 'chrissy'
Talkin' about her 'n my bike 'n me...
'n this ride up the mountain of my-stery, (my-stery)
(,,, X2)
I noticed even the crickets
Acted weird up here
And so I figured I might
Just drink a little beer
I said, gimme summa that what yer suckin' on...
But there was no reply
'cause she was gone!
where's those titties I like so well,
'n' my goddam beer!
Is what I started to yell, then I heard this noise
Like a crunchin' twig, 'n up jumped the devil!
(he's about this big!)
He had a red suit on
An' a widow's peak
An' then a pointed tail
'n like a sulphur reek,
Yes, it was him awright,
I swear I knowed it was!
He had some human flesh
Stuck under-neath his claws
You know, it looked to me
Like it was titty skin!
I said, you son-of-a-bitch!
('cause I was mad at him!)
He just got out his floss
'n started cleanin' his fang
So I shot him with my shooter,
Said: bang! bang! bang!
((((Just downward strokes on this part))))
Then the sucker just laughed 'n said: put it away!
You know, I ate her all up...now what you
Gonna say?
You ate my chrissy?
yeah! titties 'n all!
Well what about the beer then?
now, were the cans this tall?
Even her boots?
would I lie to you?
Shit, you musta been hungry!
yeah, this is true.
Don't they pay you good for the
Stuff that you do?
well, you know, I can't com-plain when the checks come through...
Well I want my chrissy,
Oh yeah?
'n I want my beer
Hah!
So you just barf it back up!
Now, devil, do you hear?
blow it out your ass, motor-cycle man!
I mean, I am the devil, do you under-stand?
Just what will you give me for your
Titties and beer?
I suppose you noticed this little
Contract here...
Yer goddam right, you son-of-a-whore!
Don't call me that!
That's about the only reason
I learned writin' for!
Gimme that paper! bet yer horns I'll sign!
Because I need a beer, 'n it's titty-
Squeezin' time!
man, you can't fool me! you ain't that bad!
Oh yeah?
Why you shoulda seen some of the souls that I've had!
There was milhous nixon 'n agnew too!
'n both of those suckers was worse 'n you!
Let's make a deal if you think
That's true
I mean, you're supposed to be the devil so...whatcha
Gonna do?
Heh?
wait a minute...a tinge of doubt crosses my mind...when you say...
That you want to make a deal with me...
that's very, very true
I'm only inte-rested in two things
yeah?
See if you can guess what they are
i would think...uh...let's see, maybe stravinsky...
i'll give you two clues. let go of your pickle
what?
let go of your pickle!
i'm not holding my pickle
well, who's hold-ing your pickle then?
i don't know...she's out in the audience...
Hey dale, would you like to come up here and hold
My pickle to satisfy this weird man out on the stage?
i'm only interested in two things, and that's
Titties and beer
You know what I mean?
what?
((((Increase speed here))))
Titties and beer
Titties and beer
Titties and beer
Titties and beer
Titties and beer
Titties and beer
Titties and beer!
Titties and beer!
Titties and beer!
Titties and beer!
no! don't sign it! give me time to think...
I mean hold on a second boy, 'cause that's magic ink!
((((Up and down strokes again from now on))))
And then the devil let go of his pickle
And out come my girl, there was her titties
Flop-floppin'...all around the world
She said i got me three beers and a fistful of downs
And I'm gonna get ripped, so fuck, you clowns!
Then she gave us the finger, it was rigid and stiff
That's when the devil, he farted
And she went right over the cliff!
The devil was mad, I took off to my pad
I swear I do de-clare!
How did she get back there?
Do that last part 4 times and thats the song.
Email me for a request.
Source: Songsterr · Rights holder? Request removal.
Readable chord sheet for Titties And Beer by Frank Zappa
It was the [Bm]blackest n[Am]ight!
There was no [E]moon in [Am]sight!
(you know the [Bm]stars ain't [Am]shinin'
'cause the [E]sky's too [Am]tight)
I heard the [Bm]scary [Am]wind!
I seen some [E]ugly [Am]trees!
There was a [Bm]werewolf [Am]honkin',
'long the [E]side of [Am]me!
[Bm]I'm mean 'n [Am]I'm bad, (y'know I [E]ain't no [Am]sissy)
[Bm]Got a big-titty [Am]girly by the [E]name of '[Am]chrissy'
[Bm]Talkin' about [Am]her 'n my [E]bike 'n [Am]me...
[Bm]'n this ride up the [Am]mountain of [E]my-[Am]stery, ([E]my-[Am]stery)
([Bm],[Am],[E],[Am] X2)
I noticed [Bm]even the [Am]crickets
Acted [E]weird up [Am]here
And so [Bm]I figured [Am]I might
Just drink a [E]little [Am]beer
I said, [Bm]gimme summa [Am]that what yer [E]suckin' [Am]on...
But there was [Bm]no [Am]reply
'cause [E]she was [Am]gone!
[Bm]where's those [Am]titties I [E]like so [Am]well,
'n' my [Bm]goddam [Am]beer!
Is what I [E]started to [Am]yell, then I [Bm]heard this [Am]noise
Like a [E]crunchin' [Am]twig, 'n [Bm]up jumped the [Am]devil!
(he's [E]about this [Am]big!)
He had a [Bm]red suit [Am]on
An' a [E]widow's [Am]peak
An' then a [Bm]pointed [Am]tail
'n like a [E]sulphur [Am]reek,
Yes, it was [Bm]him [Am]awright,
I swear I [E]knowed it [Am]was!
He had some [Bm]human [Am]flesh
Stuck under-[E]neath his [Am]claws
You know, it [Bm]looked to [Am]me
Like it was [E]titty [Am]skin!
I said, you [Bm]son-of-a-[Am]bitch!
('cause I was [E]mad at [Am]him!)
He just got [Bm]out his [Am]floss
'n started [E]cleanin' his [Am]fang
So I [Bm]shot him with my [Am]shooter,
Said: [Bm]bang! [Am]bang! [Fm]bang!
((((Just downward strokes on this part))))
Then the[Bm] sucker just[Am] laughed 'n said:[E] put it[Fm] away!
You know, I [Bm]ate her all [Am]up...now what you
[E]Gonna [Fm]say?
You [Bm]ate my [Am]chrissy?
yeah! [E]titties 'n [Fm]all!
Well what [Bm]about the [Am]beer then?
now, [E]were the cans this [Fm]tall?
[Bm]Even her [Am]boots?
would I [E]lie to [Fm]you?
Shit, you [Bm]musta been [Fm]hungry!
yeah, [E]this is [Fm]true.
Don't they [Bm]pay you [Am]good for the
[E]Stuff that [Fm]you do?
well, you know, [Bm]I can't com-[Am]plain when the [E]checks come [Fm]through...
Well [Bm]I want my [Am]chrissy,
Oh yeah?
'n [E]I want my [Fm]beer
Hah!
So you just [Bm]barf it back [Am]up!
Now, devil, [E]do you [Fm]hear?
[Bm]blow it out your [Am]ass, motor-[E]cycle [Fm]man!
I mean, [Bm]I am the [Am]devil, do you [E]under-[Fm]stand?
Just [Bm]what will you [Am]give me for your
[E]Titties and [Fm]beer?
I suppose you [Bm]noticed this [Am]little
[E]Contract [Fm]here...
Yer [Bm]goddam [Am]right, you [E]son-of-a-[Fm]whore!
Don't call me that!
That's [Bm]about the only [Am]reason
I learned [E]writin' [Fm]for!
[Bm]Gimme that [Am]paper! bet yer [E]horns I'll [Fm]sign!
Because [Bm]I need a [Am]beer, 'n it's [E]titty-
Squeezin' [Fm]time!
man, you [Bm]can't fool [Am]me! you [E]ain't that [Fm]bad!
Oh yeah?
Why you [Bm]shoulda [Am]seen some of the [E]souls that I've [Fm]had!
There was [Bm]milhous [Am]nixon 'n [E]agnew [Fm]too!
'n both of [Bm]those [Am]suckers was [E]worse 'n [Fm]you!
[Bm]Let's make a [Am]deal if you [E]think
That's [Fm]true
I mean, you're [Bm]supposed to be the [Am]devil so...[E]whatcha
Gonna [Fm]do?
Heh?
wait a minu[Bm]te...a tinge of [Am]doubt crosses my mind...[E]when you [Fm]say...
That you [Bm]want to make a deal with [Am]me...
[E]that's very, very true[Fm]
I'm [Bm]only inte-[Am]rested in [E]two [Fm]things
yeah?
[Bm]See if you [Am]can guess [E]what they [Fm]are
[Bm]i would think[Am]...uh...[E]let's see, [Fm]maybe stravinsky...
[Bm]i'll give you two [Am]clues. [E]let go of [Fm]your pickle
[Bm]what?
[Am]let go of [E]your pickle![Fm]
[Bm]i'm not holding my [Am]pickle
[E]well, who's hold-[Fm]ing your pickle [Bm]then?
[Am]i don't know.[E]..she's [Fm]out in the audience[Bm]...
[Am]Hey dale, would you [E]like to come up here and [Fm]hold
My [Bm]pickle to satisfy this [Am]weird man out on the [E]stage?[Fm]
[Bm]i'm only interested in [Am]two things, and [E]that's
[Fm]Titties and beer
[Bm]You know what I mean?[Am]
[E]what? [Fm]
((((Increase speed here))))
[Bm]Titties and [Am]beer
[E]Titties and [Fm]beer
[Bm]Titties and [Am]beer
[E]Titties and [Fm]beer
[Bm]Titties and [Am]beer
[E]Titties and [Fm]beer
[Bm]Titties and beer!
[Am]Titties and beer!
[E]Titties and beer!
[Fm]Titties and beer!
[Bm]no! don't [Am]sign it! [E]give me time to [Fm]think...
I mean [Bm]hold on a [Am]second boy, 'cause that's [E]magic [Fm]ink!
((((Up and down strokes again from now on))))
And then the [Bm]devil let go of his [Am]pickle
[E]And out come my [Am]girl, there was her [Bm]titties
[Am]Flop-floppin'...all around the world
She said [Bm]i got me three [Am]beers and a [E]fistful of [Am]downs
And I'm [Bm]gonna get [Am]ripped, so [E]fuck, you [Am]clowns!
Then she [Bm]gave us the [Am]finger, it was [E]rigid and [Am]stiff
That's when the [Bm]devil, he [Am]farted
And she went [E]right over the [Am]cliff!
The [Bm]devil was [Am]mad, I took [E]off to my [Am]pad
I swear [Bm]I do de-[Am]clare!
How did she [E]get back [Am]there?
Do that last part 4 times and thats the song.
Email me for a request.