Photo Finish

At s[E]even this morning, I g[D]ot on the ph[A]one
And said to h[D]old my bronc,[E] as long as you c[A]an
My car broke down in Billings and they just got it put together
I’ll be photo finishing into old Cheyenne
Here I am in Sheridan and its 9 o’clock
In the morning, and times a-goin’ fast
I just pulled ‘er over, had some coffee and a donut
And I bought the car a brand new tank of gas
Well I don’t know if I’m gonna make it, it’s 9:15
I’ll be lucky if I ever get there
By God now what’s that I hear, is it a sireen
Sure enough, he got me on his radar
He pulled up behind me and turned on those flashin’ lights
A sign that I knew meant to pull it over
So I stomped on my brakes and as I skidded to a halt
I wiped out three reflector posts along the shoulder
He got out of his car and was a-walkin’ real slow
So I jumped out and met him half way
He jerked out his gun and said Mister are you crazy
I ain’t never seen nobody drive that way
I told him take it easy and he could put up that cannon
The way you’re shakin’ it just might go off
He put up the gun as I explained my situation
He listened to my story, then he coughed
He wrote me out a ticket, that seemed to take forever
I took and as I headed for my car, that cop he hollered after me
And said hey cowboy you better slow down cause you can’t outrun this radar
As I rolled on down the road I was a-cursin’ and a-swearin’
About the ticket, that I had just acquired
I wondered if I oughta pay it or throw it out the window
But I might just set the damn thing a-fire
So I gunned it once again and was a travellin’ down the highway
With the gas pedal mashed to the floor
When I came around a curve, and right there in the highway
There’s more damn sheep than I’ve ever seen before
I’m goin’ to fast to ever stop so I just close my eyes
As the car rolls on through the herd
When I opened up my eyes again there’s a sheep on the fender
And that herder’s sayin’ some mighty awful words
The sweats a-drippin’ off my hands as I barrelled through old Wheatland
I’m a nervous wreck and I must be a sight
The flies inside this old car are buzzin’ all around me
I guess my 24 hour deodorant quit last night
60, 50, 40, 30, 20 miles more
The rodeo starts in another 18 minutes
I pull in through the main gate and I hear the anthem playin’
I can’t believe it, thank God I finally made it
There’s only one more obstacle that’s standin’ in my way
It’s a nitwit, with a weekend badge
He’s standing by the gate and I slide ‘er to a halt
He says where in the hell are you goin’ so doggone fast
I tell him I’m entered and I ain’t got time to talk
My horse is in the chutes and I’m late
He says I need to get a pass, from the secretary
My eyes get red and my heart fills up with hate
I yell you dirty so and so you better let me through
He asked if I’d repeat that once again
So I wacked him in the mouth and then I left him lyin’ there
On his back, a-kickin’ in the sand
I got there just in time to see my bronc come runnin’ out
His head and tail was held way up high
I swear he looked right straight at me and grinned and gave a horse-laugh
And me I just stood there and cried
I turned around feeling helpless and purely dumfounded
I looked, and what did I see
3 highway patrolmen and a gateman with a fat lip
And they were all a-lookin’ right at me
Sittin’ in this cell know I’ve done a lot of thinkin’
About that wild run I made a month ago
I’m sorry that I’m in this rotten situation
If I could [D]do it again I w[E]ouldn’t have drove so s[A]low
If I could [D]do it again I w[E]ouldn’t have drove so s[A]low