What's Funny

[D]My show is a little bit sil[G]ly and a little[D] bit pretenti[G]ous
Like Sh[D]akespeare's willy or N[G]oam Chomsky[Bmin] wearing a strap on,   [A]
It's [D]also a little bit gay an[G]d a little off[D]ensive,    [G]
Like Th[D]anksgiving Day or Noa[G]m Chomsky [Bmin]wearing a strap on,    [A]
So put your cell ph[D]ones to vibrate,      [G]
And put your vibrato[Bmin]rs to cell phone [A]mode,
[D]Welcome to the show it goes a little[G] bit like this,               [Bmin]
JOKE... (la[A]ugh)... exactly.
[D]Welcome to my flow it flows a litt[G]le bit like this,              [Bmin]
With a rap [A]a dist and a,
[D]Swift rap on the wrist a[G] wrap and a kiss,
[Bmin]Like Hershey's wrapping a kiss shit.  [A]
[D]I got a show that'll test ya [G]kids,
Then ask [Bmin]one question and the question is,   [A]
What's funn[D]y? What's funny? What's funny? What's funny?                     [G]
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? Funny? F-funn[A]y?
Oh, Hum[D]or is often linked to s[G]hared experien[Bmin]ce,          [A]
Like a guy[D] gets up and says,
"have you notice[G]d that public restrooms have really inefficient han[Bmin]d dryers,                [A]
Oh my god, [D]yes I have, HA [G]HA HA,              [Bmin]
Really good point, [A]they should fix that,    [D]
Its g[G]ood to know that somebody fin[Bmin]ally gets me,          [A]
because my wife div[D]orced me which Sub-Consciously forced me,   [G]
to l[Bmin]ose all sense of self. [A]
So its ni[D]ce to think about hand dryers[G] and not that cheating who[Bmin]re,                     [A]
Because stand[D] up comedy is actually pretty e[G]asy,                  [Bmin]                           [A]
If you're an asian[D] comic just get up and sa[G]y,
"My mothers got the weirdest fuc[Bmin]king accent"            [A]
then just do, a[D] chinese accent, bec[G]ause everybody laughs at the chinese acce[Bmin]nt,                 [A]
Because they privatel[D]y thought that your people were laughable[G],
And now you've given them[Bmin] the chance to express that in public[A],
If you're a musi[D]cal comic, just give 'em a lit[G]tle weird voice inflect[Bmin]ion                [A]
         [D]                          [G]                      [Bmin]       [stop]
Then take a Viagra and slap 'em with a rock hard      misdirection
What's funn[D]y? What's funny? What's funny? What's funny?                     [G]
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? Funny? F-funn[A]y?
[stop]
TOURETTE'S!
What's funn[D]y? What's funny? What's funny? What's funny?                     [G]
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? Funny? F-funn[A]y? And the audience says
When I was a baby, ma[D]ybe I laughed at peop[G]le jiggling keys,                        [Bmin]                                [A]
Now I'm older[D] and bolder,
And just get mad 'ca[G]use i notice that the keys are to a Hummer[Bmin],                [A]
Fuck my life I[D] don't fuck my wife,         [G]
so fuck my wife an[Bmin]d fuck my life,         [A]
and my son is gay, but[D] not sitcom gay,              [G]
My daughter's a whore lik[Bmin]e another girl who used to be her mother[A],
But the marr[D]iage made her miss merry americana,   [G]
[Bmin]I want a teen without screamin[A]g prima-donna,
But the radi[D]cal feminists made my wif[G]e a man,                [Bmin]                         [A]
And if I die[D] happy the situation [G]will be autoerotic asphyx[Bmin]iation,        [A]
[D]I hate my life [G]and it hates me back,        [Bmin]               [A]
and my friend is black,   [D]
but I [G]don't know what to call him, so [Bmin]I just call him[A]...
[D]"Yo whatup J[G]amaal?",       [Bmin]
[stop]                                      [A]
Even though his name is Steve,
I [D]Hate my job I hate my life, hate my kids[G] I hate my wife,
[Bmin]Jews would know I do it; Judas beat [A]me to it,
[D]I'm slowly slipping into a solipsistic[G] coma,          [Bmin]                 [A]
A              [just strum angrily a bunch of times]
And I masturbate because I'm the only one who's standards are low enough to fuck me....

.....
What's funn[D]y? What's funny? What's funny? What's funny?                     [G]
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? Funny? F-funn[A]y?
[stop]
*pop* It's a boy!
What's funn[D]y? What's funny? What's funny? What's funny?                     [G]
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? Funny? F-funn[A]y?
Hopefully this  [D]       [A]         [D]