Oh Woman

[E]You’re a woman that’s [Ab]what you say
[A]I say you work in mys[B]terious ways
I’m [F#m]on my knees every [B]other day
[A]Oh W[E]oman

I was born with shoes and a long sleeve shirt
Straight into the barn where the hoof prints hurt
But I was twelve years old before I said a dirty word
Oh Woman

I drink my coffee straight from the tap
No cream no sugar I take it black
No bread no wine he can have it back
Oh Woman

I was dreaming about the time I caught a nasty influenza
My head was hot and melting causing mass hallucinations
There were people on the ceiling screaming “Lead in wrong directions”
Oh Woman

You’re a woman that’s what you say
I say you work in mysterious ways
I scream your name in vain they say
Oh Woman

I was born with boots and a half hidden tail
With a sprout of mistletoe peaking through the scales
I was 21 before I spent the Sabbath in jail
Oh Woman

I drink my Koolaid down like poison
Raise my glass to all the other children
With his blood we’ll meet our mothers in heaven
Oh Woman

I was killing every brain cell with a cleaner for the kitchen
In the hopes I’d be too blind to see the depth of my depression
Somebody saved my life posed as a kitchen cleaner salesman
Oh Woman

You’re a woman that’s what you say
I say you work in mysterious ways
One look at you and I’ve turned gray
Oh Woman

I was born with cleats and a pocketknife
I traded my cleats for a secondhand wife
I traded true love for eternal life
Oh Woman

I drink my whiskey straight from the source
It blows my brain and it rips my voice
But I’d drown in that river if I had the choice
Oh Woman

I was killing every brain cell with a paper bag addiction
The vapors of adhesion take away my dark condition
I danced across the ceiling without shame or inhibition
Oh Woman