If I Had My Druthers

Don’t you[G] go motherfuckering me boys
Don’t you[C] go motherfuckeri[G]ng me
Don’t you[G] go motherfuckering me boys
Don’t you[A] go motherfuckeri[D]ng me
[G]Well I’ll tell you my brother and [G7]all of you others
If [C]I had my druthers I[A]’d be cocksuckered
Don’t you[G] go motherfuckering me boys
Don’t you[D] go motherfuckeri[G]ng me

I’ll be strangled and stripped I’ll be wet noodle whipped
Don’t you go motherfuckering me
I’ll be chained to the wall and kicked in the balls
Don’t you go motherfuckering me
I’ll be smeared on the ass with broken glass
I’ll be reamed in the rear by a kosher spear
Don’t you go motherfuckering me boys
Don’t you go motherfuckering me

I’ll be plugged by a slug with a date rape drug
Don’t you go motherfuckering me
I’ll be wined and dined by a sad porcupine
Don’t you go motherfuckering me
I’ll be seduced by a moose whose reputation is loose
I’ll hold the load of a horny toad
Don’t you go motherfuckering me boys
Don’t you go motherfuckering me