Master Of The House

[Am](add9)=EADGBe
         x02200

[Am]Welcome M'sier, sit yourself down

[Am]And meet the best inn[E7]keeper in town

[E7]As for the rest, all of them crooks

[E7]Rooking the guests and [Am]cooking the books

[Dm]  Seldom do you see

[Am]  Honest men like me

A [B7]gent of good intent

Who's con[E]tent [F#m]to  [E7]be

[A]Master of the House, doling out the charm

[A]Ready with a handshake and an open palm

[A]Tells a saucy tale, makes a little stir

[A]Customers appreciate a [B7]bon viveur!

[E]Glad to do my friends a favor, doesn't cost me to be nice

But [E]nothing gets you nothing, ev'rything has got a little [A]price

[A]Master of the House, keeper of the zoo

[A]Ready to relieve them of a sou or two

[A]Watering the wine, making up the weight

[A]Picking up their knick-knacks when they [B7]can't see strainght

[E]Everybody loves a landlord, [C#]everybody's bosom friend [F#m]

I [D]do whatever pleases [E7]Jesus, don't I bleed them in the [A]end!

[A]Master of the House, quick to catch your eye

[A]Never wants a passer by to pass him by

[A]Servant to the poor, butler to the great

[A]Comforter, philosopher and [B7]lifelong mate

[E]Ev'rybody's boon companion

[C#]Ev'[E#]rybody's chaperone [F#m]

But [D]lock up your valises [E7]Jesus, won't I skin you to the [A]bone! [Am]

[Am]Enter M'sieur, lay down your load

[Am]Unlace yer boots and [E7]rest from the road

[E7]This weighs a ton, travel's a curse

[E7]But here we strive to [Am]lighten your purse

[Dm]  Here the goose is cooked

[Am]  Here the fat is friend

And [B7]nothing's overlooked till I'm [E]sa-[F#m]tis-[E7]fied

[A]Food beyond compare, food beyond belief

[A]Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef

[A]Kidney of a horse, liver of a cat

[A]Filling up the sausages with [B7]this and that

[E]Residents are more than welcome, bridal suite is occupied

[E]Reasonable charges plus some little extra on the [A]side

[A]Charge 'em for the lice, extra for the mice

[A]Two percent for looking in the mirror twice

[A]Here a little slice, there a little cut

[A]Three percent for sleeping with the [B7]window shut

[E]When it comes to fixing prices, [C#]there are lots of tricks he knows

[D]How it all increases, all them bits and pieces

[E7]Jesus, it's amazing how it [A]grows!

[A]Master of the House, quick to catch your eye

[A]Never wants a passer by to pass him by

[A]Servant to the poor, butler to the great

[A]Comforter, philosopher and [B7]lifelong mate

[E]Ev'rybody's boon companion

[C#]Giv[E#]e em everything I've got [F#m]

[D]Dirty bunch of geezers [E7]Jesus, what a sorry little [A]lot!  [Em]

[Em]I used to dream that I would meet a prince.

[Am6]  But, God Almighty have you [B]seen what's happened since?

[E]Master of the house? Isn't worth my spit!

[E]Comforter philosopher and lifelong shit!

[E]Cunning little brain, regular Voltaire.

[E]Thinks he's quite a lover but there's [F#7]not much there!

[B]What a cruel trick of nature, [Ab]landed me with such a louse.[C#m]

[A]God knows how I've lasted [B]living with this bastard in the [E]house!

[A]Master of the house, master and a half,

[A]comforter, philosopher. Don't make me laugh!

[A]Servant to the poor, butler to the great

[A]Hypocrite and toady and [B7]inebriate!

[E]Ev'rybody bless our landlord,

[C#]Ev'rybody [C#]ble[E#]ss his spouse.[F#m]

[D]Ev'rybody raise a [E7]glass

[D]Raise it up the master's [E7]ass!

[D]Everybody raise a [E7]glass to the master of the [A]house   [D]

[A]  [D]  [A]  [D]  [A] [E]  [E]  [A]