I Cant Put My Finger On It

[A]As Martin said [E]to Xanthe
As they pl[E7]ayed with wooden t[A]oys,
"You may have Wendy's play[E]house,
But w[E7]here the hell's your b[A]oys?"

As P[A]aul said to Fifi
As they e[E]yed each other up,
"You [E7]may have better plimsolls,
But you ca[A]n't pee standing up."

An I'd[D] like to t[A]ake the time to b[D]ite
Their neck and m[E]ake it bleed
[D]Or maybe I could c[A]ut holes in their
Da[D]ddy Harris Tw[E7]eed.

And [A]I can't put my finger [E]on it.
[E7]Maybe it's something in the f[A]ood,
And I can't put my finger [E]on it
[E7]All I know is Christ would have s[A]ued.

As Sharon said to Ja[E]mie
As they [E7]sat down for a c[A]hat,
"If you think I'm cooking di[E]nner,
Well, pre[E7]pare to eat dead r[A]at."

As De[A]bbie said to Alex
As they h[E]eld hands in the park
"How c[E7]ome you wear Rupert Check
When y[A]ou think you're so hard."
I[D] should have done his L[A]and Rover
[D]To let them k[E]now I've been,
[D]Instead I wr[A]ote "F' off"
On the d[D]irt across his sc[E7]reen.

And [A]I can't put my finger [E]on it.
[E7]Maybe it's something in the f[A]ood,
And I can't put my finger [E]on it
[E7]All I know is Christ would have s[A]ued.