If You Play Your Cards Wrong

If you p[G]lay your cards wrong, you can ta[C]ke me home tonight
[D]You've got all the makings of m[C]y futu[D]re ex-w[G]ife
[G]I've got three bucks my credit sucks and my fu[C]ture don't look too bright
so if you pl[D]ay your cards wrong, you can t[C]ake me ho[D]me tonig[G]ht

Some c[Em]all me a loser and a [C]lazy no-good slob
I've lost my [Em]house, I've got no car
and [D]I can't keep a job
but I've [C]got a big heart, and anoth[D]er part
Take me h[Em]ome you'll understand
[C]Because my genit[D]alia looks l[C]ike a p[D]ringles c[G]an

If you p[C]lay your cards w[D]rong, you can [Em]take me home tonight
    [C]               [D]                  [C]         [D]
and [G]when I pull my pants down, hey you won't believe i'm white
and i[G]t's been said that I'm mister ed, but don't [C]worry I won't bite
if you p[D]lay your cards wrong, you can [C]take me h[D]ome ton[G]ight

Some c[Em]all me dishonest
And they s[C]ay I'm just lying
But [Em]I've peed next to old john holmes and
[D]He started crying.
On a s[C]unny day, I'v[D]e got it made
Get u[Em]nder my wiener if you need shade

       [C]                [D]              [C]        [D]
I[G]f you play your cards wrong, you can take me home tonight
       [C]                [D]              [C]        [D]
I[G]f you play your cards wrong, you can take me home tonight