A Patrick Swayze Christmas Mystery Science Theater 3000

[G] [Em] [D] [C] [G]

[G]Open up your [Em]heart and let the [C]Patrick Swayze [D]Christmas in.
We'll [G]gather at the [Em]Road House [C]with our next of [D]kin.
And [Em]Santa can be [C]our regular [D]Saturday night thing.
We'll [Em]decorate a [G]barstool and [C]gather round and [D]sing.
Oh, [G]let's have a [Em]Patrick Swayze [C]Christmas this [D]year!
[G]Or we'll tear your [Em]throat out and [C]kick you in the [D]ear...

(spoken)
Joel: Hold it, hold it a sec. Cambot, stop the music. Uh, Crow, I don't know if I
think this is an appropriate sentiment anymore for Christmas.
Crow: Hey, what? Like a good action sequence don't belong in Christmas?
Joel: Well, no, it's just that I've never heard of an action sequence in a Christmas carol before.
Crow: Well, then grab hold o' your socks, Joel Robinson, and read on!
Tom: Okay, pick it up from measure 20, Cambot. (music)...Lovely intro, though. Very tasteful.
Crow: Thank you.

[G] [Em] [D] [C] [G]

It's [G]my way or the [Em]highway, this [C]Christmas at my [D]bar.
I'll [G]have to smash your [Em]kneecaps if you [C]bastards touch my [D]car!
I [Em]got the word that [C]Santa has been [D]stealing from the till.
I [Em]think that that right [G]jolly old elf had [C]better make out his [D]will!
Oh, [G]let's have a [Em]Patrick Swayze [C]Christmas, one and [D]all.
And [Em]this can be the [C]haziest...
[Em]This can be the [D]laziest...
[Em]This can be the [C]Swayziest [D]Chris[C]tmas [D]of them [G]all!