Choctaw Bingo

[E]Strap them kids in, give em a lil bit of vodka
[E]In a cherry coke, we're goin to Oklahoma        [G]              [A]
[E]To the family reunion for the first time in years
[E]It's up at Uncle Slaton's cause he's getting on in [G]years[A]
[E]You know he longer travels but he's still pretty spry
[E]He's not much on talk and he's just too mean to die     [G]          [A]
[E]And they'll be coming down and from Kansas and west Arkansas
[E]It'll be one big old party like you've never saw             [G]                 [A]

Piano break

Uncle Slaton's got his Texan pride
Back in the thickets with his Asian bride
He's got an Airstream trailer and a Holstein cow
Still makes whiskey cause he still knows how

He plays that Choctaw Bingo every Friday night
You know he had to leave Texas but he won't say why
He owns a quarter section up by Lake Eufala
Caught a great big ole bluecat on a drifting jug line

Sells his hardwood timber to the chipping mill
Cooks that crystal meth because his shine don't sell
He cooks that crystal meth because his shine don't sell
You know he likes that money, he don't mind the smell

Piano break

My cousin Roscoe, Slaton's oldest boy
From his second marriage up in Illinois
He's raised in east St Louis by his mama's people
Where they do things different, thought he'd come on down

He's goin to Dallas, Texas in a semi truck
Called from that big McDonald's you know that one that's built up on that
Great big old bridge across the Will Rogers Turnpike
Took the Big Cabin exit stopped and bought a carton of cigarettes

At that Indian smoke shop with the big neon smoke rings
And the Cherokee nations, hit Muskogee late that night, somebody
Ran the stoplight at the Shawnee Bypass
Roscoe tried to miss him but he didn't quite

Piano Break

Bob and Mae come up from some little town way down by
Lake Texoma where he coaches football
They were two- A champions for two years running
But he says they wont be this year no they wont be this year

And he stopped off in Tuscka at that pop knife and gun place
Bought a SKS rifle and a couple full cases of that
Steel core ammo with the beardam primers
From some East Bloc nation that no longer needs em

And a Desert Eagle, that's one great big old pistol
I mean fifty caliber made by bad-ass Hebrews
And some surplus tracers for that old BAR of Slaton's
As soon as it gets dark, we're gonna have us a time, we're gonna have us a
time

Piano Break

Ruth Anne and Lynn come from Baxter Springs
That's one hell-raisin town way up in southeastern Kansas
Got a biker bar next to the lingerie store
That's got Rolling Stones lips up there in bright pink neon
And they're right downtown where everyone can see em
and they burn all night you know they burn all night you know they burn all night

Piano break

Ruth Anne and Lynn, they wear them cut-off britches
And those skinny halters and they're second cousins to me
Man I don't care, I want to get between 'em
With a great big ole hardon like an old Bois D'arc fence post
You could hang a pipe rail gate from do some
Sister twisters till the cows come home and we'd be havin us a time

Piano Break

Uncle Slaton's got his Texan pride
Back in the thickets with his Asian bride
He's cut that corner pasture into acre lots
He sells them owner financed strictly to them

He's got no kind of credit cause he knows they're slackers
And they'll miss that payment and he'll take it back
He plays that choctaw bingo every Friday night
He drinks his Johnny Walker at that Club 69

Were gonna strap those kids in give em a lil bit of Benadryl
In a Cherry Coke, we're going to Oklahoma
Gonna have us a time
We're gonna have us a time