The Vasectomy Song
Larry HeagleVersion1
90
Chords in this song
Strum
D-DU-UDU
Well, I went to see my doctor,
I said, "Doc, I can't pay my bills
The rent's all spent and my truck's got a dent
And I think I'm a-gettin' the chills
>From bein' forced to sleep alone, oh, this house just ain't a home
We can't afford no more kids
My life in on the skids
Cause my woman says, 'Leave me alone'
Unless I get a vasectomy, I gotta get a vasectomy
Just one little male alteration,
can save us from an other altercation
It's a vasectomy, I gotta get a vasectomy
Oh what a vas deferens it could be."
Well, the next thing I knew I was layin' on the table
With the lights shinin' in my eyes
They strapped my wrists and they strapped my ankles
And they double strapped my thighs
The nurses were gigglin' and I was wigglin' most uncomfortably
When the doctor walked in with a perverted grin
And here's what he said to me,
"It only hurts for a little while
That's what they tell me that's what they say, eh heh heh"
Well it's two weeks later and I feel a little better
And my mind is more at ease
The rent's still spent, my truck's still got a dent
But my woman's no longer a tease
And even down at the office, there's a lot more interest in me
Oh, the girls all grin when I walk in
And brother they mean to please
A man with a vasectomy, you oughta' get a vasectomy
Well, like a Sunkist orange, I've been freed
Cause it's all juice and there's no seed
With a vasectomy, you oughta' get a vasectomy
Oh, what a vas deferens it could . . . .
Now here is the part that I like the most
It takes the danger out of bein' close
Want a vas deferens it could . . . .
The snipped those little suckers right in two
And then they clamped 'em off with Super Glue
What
vas deferens it could be.
Best regards to Larry Heagle and One-Man Johnson.
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Readable chord sheet for The Vasectomy Song by Larry Heagle
[C]Well, I went to see my doctor, I said, "Doc, I can't pay my bills[G] The rent's all spent and my truck's got a dent And I think I'm a-gettin' the [C]chills >From bein' forced to sleep alone, oh, this house just ain't a [F]home We can't [G]afford no more kids My life in on the skids Cause my woman says, 'Leave me al[C]one' Unless I get a va[G]sectomy, I gotta get a va[C]sectomy Just [G]one little male alteration, can [C]save [no chord] us from an other altercation It's a [G]vasectomy, I gotta get a va[C]sectomy Oh what a [F]vas defer[G]ens it could [C]be." [C]Well, the next thing I knew I was layin' on the table With the lights shinin' in my eyes[G] They strapped my wrists and they strapped my ankles And they double strapped my [C]thighs The nurses were gigglin' and I was wigglin' most uncomfort[F]ably When the [G]doctor walked in with a perverted grin And here's what he said to [C]me, "It only hurts for a little while[C] That's what they [Am]tell me that's what they say, eh heh heh" [C]Well it's two weeks later and I feel a little better And my mind is more at ease[G] The rent's still spent, my truck's still got a dent But my woman's no longer a [C]tease And even down at the office, there's a lot more interest in [F]me Oh, the [G]girls all grin when I walk in And brother they mean to [C]please A man with a va[G]sectomy, you oughta' get a va[C]sectomy Well, like a [G]Sunkist orange, I've been freed Cause [C]it's [no chord] all juice and there's no seed With a [G]vasectomy, you oughta' get a va[C]sectomy Oh, what a [F]vas defer[G]ens it could . . . .[no chord] Now here is the part that I like the most It takes the danger out of bein' close Want a [F]vas defer[G]ens it could . . . . [no chord] The snipped those little suckers right in two And then they clamped 'em off with Super Glue What [A] [F]vas defer[G]ens it could [C]be. [G] [C] [G] [C] Best regards to Larry Heagle and One-Man Johnson.