Bob Rules

[Dm]Twelve o'clock check out we've got an entire hour [A]
Where is the remote, no time for the manual power
I put th[C]e name tag over the heart  [Dm]
On my shirt, that says 'Bob Rules'
I stood in line for days
With all the other fools
[G]And then the voice of an angel t[D]hat belonged to [A]Rob Roddy
Called my name and said 'Come on down, you're the next contestant'
Oh my God I was hyperventilating
[G]I hope I do not [D]wake up from this dream; [A]    [Asus4]           [A]               [Asus4]                      [A]
Which is what it was
[Dm]Janice she slipped on wearing a diamond dog col[A]lar
Still in complete shock I muttered the words 'One Dollar'
[C]Everyone else overbid,[Dm]
And their eyes turned to me with rage
For my dogs will be wearing diamonds
And I get to go onstage
[Dm]I picked up old Bob and I hugged him just, like [A]a bear
He said 'Put me down son and feast your eyes over there'
[C]The sliding door was aja[Dm]r,
I was a happy as I could get
For it was a brand new car--
A Chevrolet Chevette
[Dm]The showcase showdown was set for a quarter to n[A]oon
My spin did not make it all the away around, I got booed
[C]So I pulled down as hard as I co[Dm]uld
Just like they all knew that I would
I was happy to be alive
When it landed on $0.95
[B]Next thing I knew I was stan[Bb]ding next t[A]o a Marine         [Dm]
Who did not like her showcase and passed it on over to me
Crunching the numbers I tried to remain calm
How much is an all expenses paid trip to Guam?
Before I could answer a banging came to my door
The housekeeper said 'You must leave now or pay more -- you have dog'
[C]I guess I fell back asleep  [Dm]
And slept right through that show
But the next time I'm in L.A.
You know where I'm gonna go