How To Be Dumb

[G]I was hell-bent on destroying my powers of concentration
Wh[D]ile you were living like a saint
[G]And all the time the very one you trusted
Was wa[Em]shing off somebody else's p[Bm]aint

[G]Now you've got yourself a brand new occupation
Ev[D]ery fleeting thought is a pearl
And beau[G]tiful people stampede through the doorway of
The fu[Em]nniest fucker of the w[Bm]orld

[F]They're here to help you
[Dm]Satisfy your de[Bm]sire
There's a bright future[C] for all you professional li[G]ars

Now you know h[C]ow to be d[D]umb
Are you re[G]ady to take your pl[C]ace in
The m[G/B]odern museum [D]of mistakes?
[G]Don't you know h[C]ow to be d[D]umb?
Like a bui[G]lding thrown up ove[C]rnight
In [G/B]one of those rev[D]erse earthquakes

[G]They emptied out all the asylums,
[D]They emptied out all the goals
[G]The "New Bruise" was the name of the dance craze
By "J[Em]esus Cross and the Cruel N[Bm]ails"
[G]Followed up by "Tortouzring Little Beaver"
W[D]ith their contraption of barbed wire
[G]Between the fear and the fever lies
[Em]All the  rejection they re[Bm]quire

[F]They'll be howling by midnight,
[Dm]They'll be drooling by d[Bm]awn
Skulls shrunk down to the size of their br[C]ains
Heads shaven and sh[G]orn

Now you know h[C]ow to be d[D]umb
Are you re[G]ady to take your pl[C]ace in
The m[G/B]odern museum [D]of mistakes?
[G]Don't you know h[C]ow to be d[D]umb?
Like a bui[G]lding thrown up ove[C]rnight
In [G/B]one of those rev[D]erse earthquakes

Tr[Em]apped in the house of the Perpetual Sucker
Where bitt[C]erness always ends so pi[D]tyful
[Em]You always had to dress up your envy in
S[C]ome half-remembered phil[D]osophy

N[G]ow you're masquerading as pale powdered genius
Whose e[D]very bad intention has been purged
[G]You could've walked out any time you wanted
But f[Em]ace it you didn't have the co[Bm]urage
[G]I guess that makes you a full time hypocrite
Or s[D]ome kind of twisted dilletante
Fu[G]nny though people don't usually get so ugly
'Til they t[Em]hink they know what they w[Bm]ant

[F]Scratch you own head stupid
[Dm]Count up to three
[Bm]Roll over on your b[C]ack
Repeat after [G]me

Don't you know h[C]ow to be d[D]umb
Are you re[G]ady to take your pl[C]ace in
The m[G/B]odern museum [D]of mistakes?
[G]Don't you know h[C]ow to be d[D]umb?
Like a bui[G]lding thrown up ove[C]rnight
In [G/B]one of those rev[D]erse earthquakes

[G]Don't you know h[C]ow to be d[D]umb?
[G]Don't you know h[C]ow to be d[D]umb?
[G]Don't you know h[C]ow to be d[D]umb?
[G]Don't you know h[C]ow to be d[D]umb?
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