Talking Bear Mountain Picnic

W[G]ell I saw it adver[C]tised one day that the

B[D]ear Mountain Picnic was coming my way,

C[G]ome along and ta[C]ke a trip

w[D]e'll bring you up there on a ship

b[C]ring the wife and [C]family bring the whol[D]e kids - yippee!

Well I ran right down and bought a ticket to this thing called the
Bear Mountain Picnic
Little did I realise I was in for a pleasant funny surprise -
It had nothing to do with picnics, didn't come close to a mountain
and I hate bears.

Took the wife and kids down to the pier, there was 6000 people there
and everybody had a ticket for the trip, I said "oh well
it's a pretty big ship". Besides anyway the more the merrier!

Well we all got on and what do you think, that big old boat started
to sink. More people kept piling on and that old ship was going down -
funny way to start a picnic.

Well soon I lost track of my kids and my wife - so many people I never
saw in my life, that old ship started sinking down in the water
and those 6000 people were trying to kill each other. Dogs barking,
cats
 [a]-screaming, women
 [a]-yelling, men
 [a]-flying, fists
 [a]-flying,
paper flying, cops a-comiing, me a-running - I think we'd better just
call off the picnic.

I got shoved down and got pushed around all I remember was a moaning sound
Don't remember one thing more all I remember is waking up on the shore.
My arms and legs were broken, my feet were splintered, my head was cracked,
I couldn't walk, I couldn't talk, smell, feel, I couldn't see,
I didn't know where  I was, I was bald, quite lucky to be alive though.

Well feeling lucky I climbed out of my casket, I just grabbed back hold
of my picnic basket, took the wife and kids and started home wishing I'd
never got up that morning.

Now I don't care just what you do, if you want to have a picnic thats
up to you, just don't tell me about it I don't want to hear it, you see
I just lost all of my picnic spirit.

I'll stay in my kitchen.
Have a picnic in my bathroom.

Well it don't seem to me quite so funny what some people are gonna
do for money, there's a brand new gimmick every day, just to take
someones money away.

I think we oughta take some of these people, put 'em on a boat,
send 'em up to bear mountain for a picnic.