Divorce

[G]Our little dog is six years old, and he's s[C]mart as any damn [G]kid.

But when you mention the V.E.T. he [A]damn near flips his l[D]id.

[G]Words like S.H.O.T. shot or [C]W.O.R.M. [G]worm,

[C]These are words which[G] make him S.Q.U.I.[D]R.M. [G]squirm.

[G]His Q.U.A.R.A.N.T.I.N[C].E starts [G]today,

Coz he bit the V.E.T. and then[A] he ran away.[D]

[G]He caused me and my wife to have a big fight, and then, [C]both of them bit [G]me.

And [C]that's why I am [G]gonna get a D.I.V.O.[D]R.C.[G]E.

[G]She shouted "get him Rover," and he jumped over, and [C]bit my L.E.[G]G.

She sank her teeth in my B.U.M. and [A]called me an effin [D]C.

[G]Well I'm telling you, that was my cue, to get [C]O.F.F.-sk[G]i

[C]And I'm going down to th[G]e town tonight to get a new B.[D]I.R.[G]D.

[G]Oh yes his Q.U.A.R.A.N.[C]T.I.N.E star[G]ts today.

Both my wife and my wee scabby dog will[A] soon be hauled [D]away.

[G]That's why I spell out all these words, [C]so as my dog can't [G]hear.

Oh [C]I must admit that [G]dog is acting Q.U.[D]E.E.R. [G]queer.

Oh, [C]I must admit my d[G]og is acting Q.U.E[D].E.R. q[G]ueer.