The Houseplant Song

[E]Once I read a book
[G]And this is what it said
[A]If your music has a beat
[E]Then you're gonna wind up dead
It doesn't really matter if it's Chr[G]istian or not
If it's [A]syncopated rhythm then your soul is go[E]nna rot
And this b[E]ook was called ‘Ha You[G]’re Gonna Burn
And in t[A]he second chapter I[E] went on to learn

[E]Taske two [G]houseplants
[A]And put them to[E] the test
Set them both in front of spe[G]akers
And let t[A]he music do t[E]he rest
The first one you play M[G]ozart
Or something l[A]ovelqy like t[E]hat
The second one you play that P[G]etra Or that Meg[A]aDeth.

Doesn't really matter what kind of rock it is.

So [E]I took my two h[G]ouseplants
And I p[A]ut them to the te[E]st
Set them both in front of spe[G]akers
To l[A]et the music do t[E]he rest
I powered up m[G]y Pioneers
[A]To let the music r[E]oar
But [E]twenty minutes l[G]ater
Someon[A]e's knocking a[E]t my door

[E]I opened up my door

[G]And there my neighbor stood
[A]He said, Man I'd like to get some sleep
[E]If you think I could

I s[E]aid, Man, can't you[G] see here
I've got this mo[A]ral dilemma that I g[E]ot to get clear
He said, Wha[E]t kind of moral dilemma
Could you ha[G]ve at this time of night
That could m[A]ake me so angry
That I just want to fi[E]ght

So I poi[E]nted to the page in that open b[G]ook
That had a pi[A]cture of a potted plant
And I said, Go have a lo[E]ok

And he read

[E]Take two h[G]ouseplants
[A]And put them to[E] the test
Set them both in front of spe[G]akers
And let t[A]he music do t[E]he rest
The first one you play M[G]ozart
Or something l[A]ovely like th[E]at
The second one you play that P[G]etra Or that Meg[A]aDeth.

Doesn't really matter what kind of rock it is.

Fi[E]rst of all he said,
[G]That's Vager that you're playing
[A]I've never heard of Petra
[E]And isn't megaDeth all dead

[E]And secondly, [G]emphatically, He asked[A] me,
"What's the sense of hangi[G]ng out with houseplants when, hey,
I live ri[A]ght across the fe[E]nce

And I thought to myself
You know, that's a good point

[E]So I took my two h[G]ouseplants, and
[A]I put them both b[E]ack outside
[E]And me and my ne[G]ighbor
Well, w[A]e went out for a dr[E]ive

[E]We talked about all the things
[G]That really matter most
[A]Like life and love and happiness
[E]And then the Holy Ghost

And n[E]ow my two ho[G]useplants
They s[A]it out in the s[E]un
But [E]as for my ne[G]ighbor
Well our fr[A]iendship has be[E]come
A me[E]aningful relat[G]ionship
That's he[A]aded straight to he[E]avenn
But [E]as for now
We l[G]ike to sit around and listen to Aud[A]io Adrenaline
Cranked to el[E]even!