The Assumption

[C]There was an old farmer who lived on a[G] rock
He sat in the meadow just shaking[C] his
Fist at some boys who were down by the[G] crick

Their feet in the water, their hands on their
[C]Marbles and play things at a half passed[G] four

There came a young lady who looked like a
[C]Pretty, young preacher
She sat on the gra[G]ss, she pulled up her dress

And she showed them her
[C]Ruffles, and laces and white fluffy[G] duck

She said she was learning a new way to
[C]Bring up her children, so they would not[G] spit

While the boys in the barnyard were shoveling
[C]Refuse, and litter from yesterday's[G] hunt

While the girl in the meadow was rubbing her
[C]Eyes at the fellow, down by the[G] dock

He looked like a man with a sizable
[C]Home in the country, with a big fence out[G] front

If he asked her politely, she'd show him her
[C]Little pet dog, who was subject to[G] fits

And maybe she'd let him grab hold of her
[C]Small, tender hands with a movement so[G] quick

And then she'd bend over and suck on his
[C]Candy, so tasty made of butter[G]scotch

And then he'd spread whip cream all over her
[C]Cookies that she had left out on her[G] shelf

If you think this is dirty
You can go f*ck[C] yourself!